Do you want a guy to be crazy about you, the way you are about him? While
you can't make someone feel a certain way, you can definitely put your
best foot forward and give his feelings a chance to develop. Here are some
helpful hints on how to charm a guy, while still being yourself.
Steps
1. Like yourself. Whether
you're goofy, silly, crazy, quirky, smart, reserved, or whatever, how can
you expect a guy to like you if you don't like yourself? You've got to
show this person how awesome you are, but first you need to know
how awesome you are. Build
up your self confidence.
Now, this doesn't mean you have to be loud, boisterous, arrogant, chatty,
or forward. It just means getting to a place where you're comfortable in
your own skin. You can be secure,
sweet and humble
all at the same time. Guys like confident, interesting girls
who have their own lives.
The only guys who like insecure girls are the ones who are insecure themselves.
But who wants to be with a guy who wants a girl to feel bad
about herself? That's not healthy, and you deserve better.
2. Get
his attention.
He can't fancy you if he doesn't know you exist. If you haven't caught
his eye yet, then get
him to notice you. You've
got to walk before you run, right? Introduce
yourself somehow and make
conversation. Take an interest in who he is--what he likes, where he's
coming from, where he wants to go--and show him who you are, too. While
some guys don't like to talk that much, it's nearly impossible
for someone to like you if he doesn't get to know you--unless he "likes"
you for all the wrong reasons.
3.
Crack
a joke. Having
a good sense of humor makes everything better. That doesn't mean you should
be a giggling fool, laughing at everything that crosses your path. Express
your sense of humor in your own way. Some people are witty and sarcastic,
others can tell hilarious stories, and many people just do quirky things
and poke fun at themselves. No matter what tickles your sense of humor,
it's much easier to like someone who you can have a good laugh
with once in a while. If you don't find something to laugh about together,
then maybe you'll discover that you don't like him after all!
4. Do
things together. If he loves rock-climbing,
ask him if he can show you how, and make a good-faith effort to see why
he's so into it. Have
an open mind. Find out
what you have in common, and include him in your world. If you love
a certain kind of music, ask him if he's ever listened to a particular
artist and offer to play a CD for him. Finding activities that you can
enjoy together can really lay down a bond and further his appreciation
of you.
5.
Have
patience. These
things take time. You can't force someone to like you, and trying to hurry
things up can ruin the courtship altogether. Give him some space and don't
be obsessive. Let things
progress at a natural pace, or fade out of natural causes. Eventually he'll
tell you one way or another whether or not he's interested in reciprocating
your affection. And if he's not, don't hang around him like a lost puppy.
Sometimes you might be incompatible in ways that you don't see, and sometimes
a guy just isn't ready for a long term relationship. Don't take rejection
too personally. It happens. Not everyone in the world is going to like
you. Move on! There are other fish in the sea and if you followed the first
step, you know that you're a good catch.
Tips
- Be an all-around great person. If
you focus on being a clean, motivated, kind,
and humorous individual, how can anyone resist? Some guys might be intimidated,
and they're too insecure to be worth your interest anyway. But it's only
a matter of time before a guy who can like you for who you really are will
come around and see that you're an awesome person to be around.
- Some people prefer being friends
first, others prefer to avoid the "just a friend" zone. Ideally,
you can be a little bit of both--a friend and a romantic interest.
- Keep in mind that you cannot control
what other people think and do. He may be the object of your interest,
but that does not create any obligation that you be his. Turn the situation
around. If there was some random guy who took an interest in you, is there
anything that he could do to make you like him? Probably not. You
will like him or not. You will find him attractive or not. You will find
him funny or not. All he can do is try to be the best person he can be,
and hope that you agree. The reverse is also true. Be the best person you
can be, and let it develop--or not--from there.
- Don't talk about your other prospective
guys with the guy you're interested in. It's just not good form, and it's
a good way to get rid of him.
- If there is no sign of him being
interested in you, that doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't interested.
He could just be shy, or be a little frightened, especially if he hasn't
dated anyone for a long time.
Warnings
- Don't play stupid mind games or
send mixed signals. This confuses the guy and has tons of potential for
embarrassment.
- If your friends aren't the most
mature, do not tell them about him. They will immediately start staring
at him and start giggling and chatting and so on. No matter what you say
to them, they will look at him. The worst case scenario is when your friends
go off on their own and start pestering the guy with a whole lot of questions
that all sound a lot like 'What do you think of Jessica?'. This will send
him packing.
- Trying too hard to "get"
a specific person to like you can be manipulative, something that no one
finds attractive or wants to be the object of.
- If these steps work a little too
well and he comes on too strong, let him know to take it easy and don't
do anything you feel uncomfortable with.
- Don't confuse kindness with him
liking you. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, but be attentive
and you'll figure it out.
- If he is dating someone else, he
is completely off limits. Respect him by not tempting him to get involved
with someone else.
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