THE RIGHT PERSON (i love this Inigo)

A nice article for the married, soon to be married, and waiting to be married... Food for thought and in the words of Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ:

THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... not just a feeling.

 

Got this from Inigo

On Relationships…

 

* TRUST

 

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

 

A female telephone operator received a phone call one day. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a

lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

 

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

 

* NO POINTING FINGERS

 

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

 

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

 

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

 

* CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

 

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

 

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

 

* NO OVERPOWERING

 

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

 

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

 

* RIGHT SPEECH

 

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

 

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction

worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

 

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

 

* PERSONAL PERCEPTION

 

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

 

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They

are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

 

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

 

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

 

* BE PATIENT

 

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

 

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"

The father went home & committed suicide.

 

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

 

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Secrets of a Low Maintenance Gal

Much in the same way that a car can be high-maintenance, a significant other can be a lot of work, too. In place of a daily quart of oil, this person might need constant reassurance or all salad dressing "on the side." Being high-maintenance isn't necessarily a bad thing, but if you want to get all the way across the country in the road trip of life, you're going to pick the car that can go a few days without a curling iron. Mixed metaphors aside, the point is that low-maintenance ladies have more fun. Let your inner drama queen go, and land a great guy the laid-back way:

 

1. Stop worrying about your hair

The simpler the style, the faster you'll be able to get out of the house and into some adventures. Grow it out and throw it into a ponytail or cut it super short and let it air dry for maximum freedom.

 

2. Buy some comfortable shoes

The couples that play together stay together. And to a lot of men, a respectable pair of hiking boots or golf shoes is just as alluring as a pair of precarious stilettos.

 

3. Learn to laugh at yourself

Being low-maintenance often means being able to bounce back quickly from life's little faux pas. A gal that can giggle at her own foibles comes across as confident, fun to be around and less likely to fall apart when someone else makes a mistake.

 

4. Take it easy with the special orders

Chances are, the chef might actually know more about food than you. Designing your own entrée every time you enter a restaurant and tasting multiple vintages before settling on a glass of wine isn't impressive, it's annoying.

 

5. Take care of your own self-esteem

Don't leave it to a man to constantly tell you how great you are. Find out on your own by tackling new challenges or learning new skills. Cultivate strong friendships and family relationships so that he never becomes your only cheerleader. You know you're gorgeous.

 

6. Be okay with solitude

Even the tightest couples need — and thrive on — some time apart. A low-maintenance gal is okay with the occasional guys' night out because she can't wait to spend a quiet evening in the tub with a good book.

 

7. Stop making your relationship the main topic of conversation

Sure, every girl wants to know where things are going and how her man is feeling, but bringing up the state of the union every week is like making him go shoe shopping with you on a regular basis.

 

8. Stop asking, "What are you thinking about?"

Chances are, nothing interesting. Let him keep his thoughts to himself. You'll free up your own mind for musings on the finer points of string theory .... or whatever else it is you like to ponder.

Things I learned from Coach Dennis Tan

1.  Accelerate...the faster you run the more calories you burn...
2.  Never ever date a player...he will only ruin your life...
3.  Walang babae lalaki sa football...
4.  Ang babaeng mabilis maglakad...yan ang mga walang balak maglablyp...parang ikaw
5.  ANG BOLA HINDI YAN LILIHIS...KUNG TATAMA SAYO, WAG MO ILAGAN, LABANAN MO     FOOTBALL TO INENG...FOOTBALL
6.  Meron bang sport na di ka magkakainjury?
7.  Wag ka maniwala kay santos-chua...bolero yan...
8.  the more you hate...the more you hate...
9.  Isipin mo na lang na ex mo un bola...
     (coach nman...di ko ata kaya gawin un sa ex ko)
10.  Ang yellow at red card...walang epekto sa gagong player yan.
11. Suarez! Bakit ka nakatitig kay Manglicmot...e P#@ ganyan lang din ginagawa mo sa bola
      kaya di ka makatira e...naaagawan ka tuloy!
12. Ang lablyp darating din yan. Ipaagaw mo lang siya sa iba, kung ikaw type niya sorry sila.

share ko lang to...
13. Coach Tan: Ang mga chickboy...front lang yan, BAKLA TALAGA YAN!
      Ickay: Eh di bakla po pala si santos-chua?
      Inigo: Tang ina mo ickay!
      Coach Tan: Defensive!

***Your Five Factor Personality Profile***

Extroversion:

You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.


The Five Factor Personality Test
http://www.blogthings.com/thefivefactorpersonalitytest/

84% ako...

[X] nakapag-paskuhan
[X] nakapangopya

[X] nagpakopya ka

[] nakatulog sa clinic kahit walang
sakit
[ X] nangamoy almers *hehe... at nangamoy san miguel. amoy ulaaaaam!!!*

ilan? = 4

[X]tumambay sa library

[X] nangodigo (sa desk lang!)

[X] walang tulog ng 2 days straight (active sa org e)

[X] nakapag overnight *kasama na ba nagpaovernight?*

[X] nag-copy paste ng assignment (always)

il an + previous ? = 9

[X]natulog sa klase (hahaha, yan ang gawain ko kay ngongers)

[X]umiy ak sa harap ng prof (yeayeayea)

[X]umino m sa 1611, tapsi, moromolom,
cafe dapits (tapsi nga ba? sa tapat lang ata un, bonding with some of my co je's and officers

[X]kum ain ng rice meals n binebenta ng mga ibang students

[X] nagsuot ng yellow shirt ng magchampion ang ust last season ng uaap

ilan + previous ? = 14

[X]gumamit ng kodigo galing sa ibang section pag my exam

[X]nagpa gawa ng flash presentation pra sa finals

[X]bumagsak (yeayeayea...nagsummer pa nga ko e)

[X] may tres sa final grade

[ ]naki pila pag bayaran na ng tuition pag prelims at finals

ilan + previous ? = 18

[X]bumili sa vendo sa corridor

[ ] nakituhog sa calamares ng kaklase.

[X ]k umain sa d fort sa may antonio

[ X] namili ng school supplies sa asturias
[X ] bumili ng either yosi or kendi na nasa may labas lang ng dapitan gate bago pumasok o lumabas

ilan + previous ? = 22

[X]nanghin gi ng yellow paper pag may exam

[ ]nakapag kickback sa tuition (sorry,
teenager lang. kailangan magdaan sa
phase na to)  (kamusta nman, prudential plan ako e...)
[ ]gumawa ng fake na resibo

[X]tum ambay sa mga seminars

[X]n agmerienda kay manang sa may tabi ng kodak sa asturias

ilan + previous ? = 25

[X]binagyo at binaha

[X]nak atambay sa field

[ ]nagdrop ng subject

[X] inakalang babagsak pero pumasa

ilan + previous ? = 28

[X]nakapag pedicab

[X]na gkaroon ng Sun Cellular na sim
card

[ X]na -irita dun sa guard lalo n pag
ayaw magpapasok

[X]nakas ali at naging active sa mga org (1st year pa lang active nako)

[X ]bumili ng kahit anong memorabilya
ng
ust (e.g. sticker, jacket, t-shirt, baso, ballpen) - jacket at tiger headband lang!

ilan + previous ? = 33

[X]may at least 5 librong nabili sa isang sem

[X]naisip ang magshift kasi feeling mo mas cool yung ginagawa ng ibang course pero hindi na din natuloy kasi mas cool pala yung ginagawa mo

[]tumakbo s bagong fountain sa likod ng main bldg

[X]umabsent

[X]ginawa ng palamigan ang library

ilan + previous ? = 37

[X]tumamba y sa lovers lane at catwalk at kumain, mag-muni2 at magdramahan

[ X]tumambay sa corridor

[X]t umakbo sa hallways

[X]n a nuod ng laro ng UST Tigers kasi required sa PE  (di lang dahil required...ADIK KASI AKO)

[X]nagsuot ng complete uniform(withid, socks,proper haircut,no access ories,
at black leather shoes) *si sir gregorio ata may pakana niyan?*

ilan + previous = 42 x 2 = 84%

College Basketball Survey

1. which league is your school included?
- UAAP.

2. team name?
- UST Growling Tigers

3. have you ever watched a game live?
- Yupyup

4. are you proud of ur school?
- Yes!

5. what is ur current ranking?
- 4th in the UAAP and CCL

6. who is/are ur fave player/s in ur team?
- all time? japs cuan, warren de guzman and my idol jojo duncil.

7. do you like other teams?
- yes i do. coz i have friends from the other teams :)

8. which team/s?
- admu, dlsu, ue and feu

9. fave player/s in the other team/s?
-  admu: sumalinog (wag na kau magtanong at magreact!)
   dlsu: ahia ty tang, green archers trio, simon david, kish grover and bader(kahit medyo               suplado)
   ue: marcelino, james vincent, kelvin west & jorel
   feu: marnel

10. do u think ul be champ for dis season?
- 70? overall champs? y not? season 71? yeah, coz we never say die!

11. what is ur fave part of the game?
- the game itself and meeting new friends, the Yuap Family (DG TY & ADIKS)

12. how are u in the cheerdance?
- we were not able to defend the crown but for me, the SDT is still the best squad in the UAAP

13. do u think u are winning dis tym?
- next season? yes

14. have u ever watched it in live?
- nope.  we were supposed to watch it this season pero naubusan ng tickets sa alumni

15. is ur skul team any good at volleyball?
- oh yeah! with geli tabaquero, denise tan, jean balse, venus bernal, aiza maizo and the rest of the team...

16. do u know anyone good at it?
- e di ung team. haha (onga nman imee - tamad na ko magisip e pakopya nalang)

17. do u love cheering for ur skul?
- yeah.

18. what is ur cheer?
- GO USTE! Even my friends from admu and dlsu cheer this ;) <~ diba bm you like Go USTe?

19. are u planning to watch more uaap/ncaa games?
- yupyup. UAAP will always be a part of my life.

20. what can u say to ur skul?
- Go USTe! Never Say Die!